Autobiography of an Englishman by “Y” (Paul Elek, 1975)
A rather sad and dispiriting book, published anonomously, purportedly a true autobiography of an Englishman (Paul Yeager) born early in the 20th century. From a young age he is attracted to and fantasizes about beautiful young boys and continues this desire into his adult life, although he marries a woman and fathers two daughters. He is preoccupied with sex, masturbation, and flagellation but is rarely sexually active: he finds male genitalia unattractive and seems to seek only a cuddly warmth and affection from boys and young men. He does have an affair with a young woman at his office that seems both desperate and depressing.
His wife conveniently dies in a car cash, allowing him, at the age of 70, to form a relationship with a pretty 22-year-old young man. He (the narrator) is not an appealing, sympathetic, or particularly interesting or insightful man and his self-delusion prevents him from writing honestly or convincingly about himself.
An unpleasant book in just about every sense.
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